


Undefended

by ShinigamiCara



Series: Late night discussions [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: F/M, Fear, Hugs, Nightmares, Tears, need for love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:45:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8286307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinigamiCara/pseuds/ShinigamiCara
Summary: We all have to deal with our own fears. So does Grell.





	

She was running.

She perfectly knew this would end soon; she couldn't go on forever. Her legs hurt so much and she was out of breath. She didn't understand why she was suffering. Why every motion was so painful and hard to do. As if she was moving in water, every step got slower and slower. Panic was about to choke her.

There was someone behind her. Not someone but several... creatures, hiding in the woods. She couldn't see. _Why?_ Normally she could see in the darkness as well but that moment she was almost blind. She kept stumbling through roots that were sticking out of the soil. _It was the end._

Twenty seconds later she collapsed; she fell on her knees, her lungs were burning. She didn't dare to turn around. _They were there_.

Why was she running, trying to escape so helplessly? She was born to fight. To be strong. Her fingers were rummaging underneath her crimson coat, desperately looking for her scythe.

But it wasn't there.

Her emerald eyes widened because of panic. She heard loud steps behind her. Menacing thuds, coming closer and closer.  
She turned around to face her fate. She was believed to be brave and strong, so she tried to fulfill these requirements. It was hard to see through the thick darkness. All she could figure out was a tall, slender person wearing dark clothes. She didn't see the others - but she felt them.

'What do you want from me?' She asked nervously. Anger was meant to hide her confusion and fear. (What was the problem? She knew something was wrong but she forgot what it was. Something had changed but what? The more she tried to remember, the more she lost the ability of thinking clearly.)

'I'm here to kill you,' the person replied and lifted a heavy sword. It wasn't a simple weapon; this sword was old, minutely forged and somehow considerable. It's blade glittered in the dark. She was amazed by it. It was a real masterpiece.

She stood up. She didn't want to abandon herself. That was not her style. Letting out a loud shriek, she attacked.

 _That_  was her style.

  
The tiny little details of the battle became blurred. She didn't perceive everything. Time was passing by as flowingly as a liquid and the motions seemed slower than before. She was fighting for her life, risking everything. She didn't have a weapon, anything to help her - still, she made an attempt to win.  
But the graceful sword ripped her apart.

  
She got hit exactly into her stomach; her eyes widened as she felt the enormous pain spreading all across her body. Warm drops of blood drifted through the air, her eyes were full of tears, she tried to breath but her lungs gave it up. She opened her mouth to say something, to shout or to whisper - but instead of words it was only her scarlet blood that left her lips.

  
_She was a human_. That was it. She was a human. (But _why_? How? What happened? Wasn't she a Grim Reaper? ) Her body twiched uncontrollably and she fell with a loud thud.

Life left her body slowly. She never knew it would be so painful. She had never thought of what her victims felt.

So many years passed by - and she forgot how it was, being a human.

Being weak. Abandoned. Undefended.

  
She opened her eyes, staring into the darkness, heavily breathing. Some minutes passed by. _It was a nightmare. Okay, calm down, it was a nightmare. You are a Reaper and you're still alive. Nothing happened._

  
She wanted to sit up and look for her death scythe just to check if she already had it. She hated nightmares because they made her vulnerable and weak and after having a horrible, detailed one she couldn't sleep and she was helpless and abandoned and so lonely that she couldn't stand it. Laying alone in her bed in her cold, sad little flat, gazing at the cieling was the worst in these lonely nights. She didn't want this to happen again.

  
A quiet swishing of the bedclothes made her focus on reality; for some seconds she forgot to breath as she felt those strong arms around her waist.

  
'Grell?' William whispered. She wasn't able to see him in the darkness but she imagined his worried face. 'What happened?'

  
'Sorry,' she muttered, ashamed. 'I didn't intend to wake you up.'

  
'You had a nightmare, didn't you?' William asked quietly, putting one of his palms on her back, caressing her in order to calm her down. 'You were whimpering and shaking.'

  
'I'm sorry,' Grell repeated.

  
'Come here,' William pulled her closer till her head was on his chest. 'There. It's fine, I'm here.'

 

William used the words she always wanted to hear. Those reassuring phrases were the most precious treasures she could imagine. He was there, with her, defending her; with William, nothing bad could happen. She sighed; her lips were still trembling.

  
'I was a human,' Grell whimpered. 'A miserable, helpless human. And I...I died.' Some tears were sliding across her face. 'Why do they even fight for their lives, Will? They all die one day. Every single one of them. We take their lives. You, me, the other reapers... Why, Will? Why are they so obstinate?'

  
'Humans are meant to die,' William muttered, kissing her forehead. This simple gesture made Grell's heart beat slower. Such a calming touch. 'They know they'll die one day but they don't know when and that's normal you know. The fact they want to survive is natural, they can't do anything against it.'

  
'They're pitiful.'

  
'Are they?' Will asked honestly. 'I don't think so. I rather respect them for being able to live without duties. To be free. They can do whatever they want and they do believe everything they reach is important and will remain significant during the centuries. Their time is limited but still they have dreams and goals and they keep struggling in order to make them real. This is wonderful. Yet useless.' Willam caressed Grell's face. 'Try to sleep, will you? No need to think about the sense of humanity and the world of Reapers.'

 

'I can't sleep.'

 

'Come here then.' He kissed her forehead again and again. 'Sleep, Grell.'

 

'Will...'

  
'Yes?'

  
'I'm... I'm so relieved you are here,' she breathed. 'I always had to deal with my fears alone. But now you protect me.'

  
'I do. And I will, always.'

  
He put his arms around her and she nestled up to him. It was late; the night was silent and William listened to Grell's breath which became more and more peaceful. _Once this beautiful creature in my arms was a human too_ , he thought. _And it seems she doesn't remember anything, except for being undefended._

 

William felt the urge to set her free.


End file.
